Guidelines for Communication Between Friends

During this week’s reading the one concept that popped out to me was the guidelines for communication between friends at the end of the chapter. The section just explains better ways to communicate amongst friends. The four subtitles are engage in dual perspective, communicate honestly, grow from differences, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Engaging in dual perspective is the act of distinguishing between our judgments and perceptions and what friends say and do. Secondly, communicating honestly is a key factor in a friendship. Honesty is one of the most important gifts friends can give each other. It involves being honest in every situation because lying will just make bigger holes for you in the long run. Grow from differences is the next guideline and it means to be open to diversify with other people. Being friends with someone different then us can be rewarding in the long run. Lastly, don’t sweat the small stuff is the final principle which tells us to let go of small irritations because they will slowly destroy closeness in relationships. 

My Bestfriend

When I think of someone very close to me the first person that pops in my head is my girlfriend, who is also my best friend. As I think of the past I realize that there have been many investments made into this relationship between me and her. We have invested our time, effort, thought, and emotions into this relationship. Trust, acceptance, and closeness are key components in a healthy friendship. Trust is built gradually over time and it can be lost even faster. I’ve built trust in my relationship by telling the truth and communicating every little detail to my partner. Acceptance just comes naturally with a close friend. You shouldn’t have to hide anything from your friend. Lastly, closeness can be achieved through dialogue or by doing activities with one another. Intimacy is a big thing in closeness and it really makes the relationship. I would definitely say that my relationship is consistent with the dynamics described in this chapter. 

Friendship.com

After viewing this website I found that there are a number of challenges to friendship discussed in this chapter in the advice forum. There are a lot of friendships that are subject to internal tensions and external pressures. In one of the forums I saw someone post that they have had this friend since they were little and all the sudden they get a boyfriend. Now the friends aren’t spending as much time together because one is more focused on the boyfriend. This is an example of an external pressure called competing demands. Sometimes we neglect established friends because of new relationships coming into our life. This specific example from the forum did directly reflect one of the challenges as stated in the book. There were also plenty of other issues raised that reflected challenges in relationships like geographic distance, diverse communication styles, and personal changes. So overall I would say that the website was pretty much spot on.